The snarXiv is a random high-energy theory paper generator incorporating all the latest trends, entropic reasoning, and exciting moduli spaces. The arXiv is similar, but occasionally less random.
Actually, the snarXiv only generates tantalizing titles and abstracts at the moment, while the arXiv delivers matching papers as well. Details of the implementation are below. I’m the author, and I don’t remember exactly why I decided to do this. I did already have the framework lying around from a previous project, and I swear I spent more time doing research last weekend than implementing snarXiv.org.
Suggested Uses for the snarXiv
If you’re a graduate student, gloomily read through the abstracts, thinking to yourself that you don’t understand papers on the real arXiv any better.
If you’re a post-doc, reload until you find something to work on.
If you’re a professor, get really excited when a paper claims to solve the hierarchy problem, the little hierarchy problem, the mu problem, and the confinement problem. Then experience profound disappointment.
If you’re a famous physicist, keep reloading until you see your name on something, then claim credit for it.
“Print number 6517 and 6518 are smeared and does not define clarity.”
Another excellent find among my grandmother’s old documents was a set of hilariously informative instructions for nose-printing your dog.
When my father was young, his family owned an enormous Great Dane named Lady who turns out to have had a pedigree. Canadian National Live Stock Records show her mother’s name as “Duchess of Willowdale” and her father’s as “Dandy of Metheringham.” To register Lady herself with the Canadian Kennel Club, my grandfather had to send in a nose-print. I have no idea what the primary method for taking nose prints was, but it apparently failed, according to this letter from the Dept. of Agriculture: Continue reading »
An article in today’s Boston Globe described an intense standoff between President Obama and a housefly that thought it could be a whitehousefly…
During a White House television interview with CNBC’s John Harwood, the president tried shooing the fly away, saying, “Hey! Get out of here.”
Harwood offered, “That’s the most persistent fly I’ve ever seen.”
Obama paused for a moment, seeming to study the fly’s flight path, and then he suddenly slapped his right hand down on his left. The fly had bugged its last commander in chief.
“Nice!” Harwood said to the sounds of a few claps in the background.
The look of concentration is priceless. Also, I think that fly took up about $1,000 of presidential time.
